It really is easy to find yourself in a negative space isn't it?
I have always been a super positive person and someone who is always trying to please others but I have always felt very much as though I don't belong here.
It is so hard to explain to people. Because unless you have felt like this then you really don't understand how it can feel. It is so weird because every time I go away overseas I am 100% myself and I feel a sense of belonging then I come home and I feel myself holding back because people just seem to judge me for being me. Hence why I go away every year. I love being able to meet new people and be accepted and feel free and accepted.
This year has been a real up and down year for me. Don't get me wrong my life is great, lets be honest I sit here and something pity myself but I know that there are people out there who have worse problems then me.
I just hate that I give 110% of myself to friends and family but don't get that back. I value and respect them but got get that same in return. The biggest one of all is I always have my closest friends use the excuse 'Oh I am just so busy'. Come on , we live in a world where we are glued to our cell phones yet it is that hard to send your friend or family member a text message to simply just see how they are doing.
This has really gotten to me the past while now and just have got to the paint were I really feel like I want to get away from here and escape to a whole new country and start fresh!
Has anyone else felt like this? How have you managed to deal with it?